Every year around this time, I thank the gods that I don't have family in the United States. About a month before the big day (of Thanksgiving, that is) I start setting up my plan that inevitably lands me with a great meal. This is how my "get-invited-to-the-best-thanksgiving-mean" plan works:
I set my strategy up by ask the unsuspecting friend or renowned good cook what their Thanksgiving plans are. They respond and, if the answer sounds appealing, I proceed to phase two: setting myself up for the reciprocal question. I do this by leaving a lot of silence and looking slightly embarrassed. When they ask me what I am doing, I go in for the kill. I change my countenance to look like I am slightly sad but trying to look strong. My words usually go something like this: "Me? Oh, I don't have any family in America. The closest person geographically to me is my brother, and he lives in the western extremity of Canada. So I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably nothing. I'll just stay at home by myself and try to enjoy the quiet, I guess." And that usually does it. I am always invited to Thanksgiving dinner. Any American who hears the words "alone" and "Thanksgiving" automatically feels a tweak of compassion and sadness. And since I am also cute and not from here, I make a good conversation piece. After I have raked in a few invitations, I consider my options and try to find the best cooking/family atmosphere combo. Then I make my calculated selection and wait for the big day to arrive when I can shower my host family with compliments on their fabulous American cooking and assure them that theirs was the best Thanksgiving meal I have ever had. Brilliant.
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1 comment:
Hilarious! So where did you end up? I was at my aunt and uncle's. They treated me quite well :)
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