Okay, so my answer to the previous post is "yes" -- pretty much. But I found something more interesting to discuss for right now, so maybe i'll pick up on the morality topic later.
So Saturday night, I spent all night playing pool at my favorite bar. It was Carter and I, and we did really, really well for most of the night (three tequila shots and five beers later, my cue stick wasn't lining up quite right.) It was only the next day that I noticed something strange: I was pretty much the only woman playing pool. There were lots of women milling around the table, talking with the players, but none were really playing. At first, I just thought it was bizarre, but then I thought back to when I started playing pool at bars.
Initially, I was really intimidated to play pool in front of guys. I always wanted to, but didn't want to look like an idiot. Then, I started hanging out with lesbians, and I would go to the gay bar with them on Friday nights. There, it was only girls playing... and since I wasn't interested with flirting, I just played pool. I was not intimidated, because it was women playing, and even though they could kick my ass, I still felt comfortable. So then I translated that to my regular bars. And now I'm one of few female bar pool players in Charleston, at least. It's not that I'm good, but I can hold my own, and I don't care if I miss a shot. So why don't more women do it? Would I have ever broken that divide if it hadn't been for my lesbian bar adventure? I don't think so. There's something about the embarrassment factor -- it's like, if you encroach on a guy's sport you should either be able to kick their butts or you should set yourself up as helplessly in need of their support. But the fun thing about pool is that guys don't have a natural advantage, and anyone can pick up the skill relatively easily. So it's something about self-confidence, or lack thereof... it's something about getting past the point of caring, and just doing it to play. But it's bizarre, because it so rarely happens, at least in the bars around here. And I remember when I went to visit my friend Chris in Georgia that something similar occurred. We went to a party and people were playing some weird version of pool where you hit the balls on the sides of the table and have to run to the other side... and NO girl was playing. And I played, because it was a lot of fun, and one of the girls looked at me like I was made out of green cheese. I asked her if she wanted to play, and she laughed nervously and said something like, "I've never seen a girl play." But she didn't join me, and I scoffed at her in my mind for helping to perpetuate female stereotypes. I guess I just didn't realize I how lucky I was not to feel bounded by those gender roles. Crazy, huh?
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4 comments:
LOG! You talked about the legendary game of LOG! For some historical perspective, the game was invented by a group of adolescent boys, hence the gender skew. However, some girls, mostly girlfriends, have been known to play, Instead of three letters (L-O-G), we usually give them five (like B-I-T-C-H). That may explain why they don't play too much.
I've always enjoyed playing pool but it has nothing to do with lesbians. I think "gender roles" can be relaxed or changed very easily if people would just loosen up and enjoy the game for what it is. I like playing pool because my dad taught me how, and when I'm at home it's something I can do with my dad and my brother. I don't care that I'm not very good, because my dad and my brother were patient with me, and tried to teach me how to play. These girls just haven't had someone treat them the same to feel confident enough enjoying themselves (no need to kick ass OR suck at the game). Instead, they have penises TEASE them about being included. Instead of actually assuming equality, these penises still try to keep the girls separate, or make them feel unequal or inferior by changing the game's name to something thoughtless and derogatory, especially when that name change is ONLY for the women. I think if the women don't want to play with you, it's because they've been hanging out with the wrong guys.
Booya.
down with the penises
I think it definitly has to do with a self confidence issue. I think more then my lack of skill in the game, my issue was the fact that I had to stick my ass out and cross my fingers that my boobs didnt fall out of my shirt. Jessica- we definitly need to up our practice time at our favorite bar!
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