Moments of Glory

This past week, I had some moments of glory:

1) I got to hang out with the band Sugarcult, who were the headliners at our Homecoming concert. I spent both Friday and Saturday nights hanging out and drinking with band members. It was cool and weird to see them on and off stage, such different personalities. Definitely a weekend to remember.
2) I ran a total of 20 miles, or 32 kilometers. That's the most I've ever run in one week, for sure. I feel stronger, healthier and better than I have in a long, long time.
3) I practiced for the LSAT and am getting semi-confident that I can score in the 90th percentile on the exam if I don't mess up. Now that I said that, I will almost certainly mess up.

Let's hope this week will be just as good!

Monday Morning

Monday morning and it's time to update. A lot has been going on. Decided to apply to law school. Taking practice LSATs and not doing too badly, which is a relief. Actually, the bigger relief is to have a practical, exciting, post-graduation plan. Somehow, it feels like the right thing to do. It makes sense. If I can keep my sanity and retain my faith in humanity for three years, I think I can make a good lawyer and actually help the world in some little ways. Going into law feels more active than being a history professor. I love history, but it is a passive career in many ways. To excite people by recounting past events in the hope that they will themselves step up to the world's challenges, is indeed a noble venture in my mind. But I know myself, and I know that I want to be the one in the thick of things. I love history because it teaches you time and time again that it is possible to accomplish what one thought was impossible for a human being. But now that I've learned those lessons, I need to put myself out there -- become a part of that world. I'm not saying that I want to be famous and have people read about me in history books -- I'm just saying that I want to be a part of the history, instead of recounting it.

Trying to Leave Africa

Here I am at the airport in Addis Ababa. Again. For the third time since I initially tried to get on a flight yesterday morning to Dubai. It was cancelled, and so they put us on a flight for later that night. When we came back the second time, the airport personell told us to go to the wrong gate, and by the time we figured it out, the flight had left. So here we are. Try #3 and I am really itching to go. I pray I will get there safely, even if 24 hours late. I only ever pray on airplanes. There's something about being so helplessly at the mercy of other powers that grips me when I'm sitting at 10,000 meters above ground. That, and a plane crashed this morning in Indonesia leaving only 12 survivors. Inshallah, God willing, we will arrive to Doha safely this evening. Man, it was a bad first day of the year.

Days Like These

I'm sitting on my bed, ochre bed sheets and an Ethiopian cotton blanket warming my toes. Looking out the window you can tell it's cold outside. The air is crisp, the sky is clear, everything looks sharp. Inside, it's completely different. Everything looks hazy, dim, and undefined. Two little lit lamps attempt to make a difference, but they can't compete against the atmosphere. It's days like this when you realize that the world is bigger than you. That its mood envelops you and that you are defined by your surroundings. I like to feel small. Sometimes it's comforing. I like to feel in perspective compared to the world.
Sometimes it's depressing, because I want to feel like my life matters. But when I get humbled by nature like this, it proves that I can only accomplish little compared to the world.
What is it about humans and feeling like they need to change the world? And this sense of urgency...

Motivation

Okay my friends... so tomorrow I hand in all my final papers. Tomorrow, I am officially academically done for 2006. But damn, tomorrow seems like a long long time away. I've still got two papers to finish writing and my brain is screaming "mercy!" Yes, yes. I know. It'll be fine in the end and I will get it done. It always is. But uuugh.
One of my RAs came to me and was complaining about a bad situation. Then she said she shouldn't feel bad about feeling bad. "That's catholic guilt for you." There's always someone out there doing worse than you. But speaking in relative deprivation terms, it still sucks.
Now that I am fully motivated... back to work.

My Second Race

Today, I ran my second 5 K race and finished in under 28:00. I'm proud of myself, because that's a whole minute faster than my last timed run. At the end, I had less to give, which means I ran it well. I guess I didn't achieve my goal of 27:00 minutes, but I also didn't feel like throwing up. :) Now I'm energized, happy, and ready to write my final exams.

Getting Better

Today, I ran 5 kilometers in a little under 28:00. That's a 9 minute mile. I have been able to shave off two whole minutes since I started taking running seriously two and a half weeks ago. I start every time with a higher base, and increase the pace every half mile or so. My favorite part of running is the end, when I let myself go into a full sprint and feel like I have nothing left to give. My goal is to shave off one more minute by the time I run my last race this year. Today, I felt like throwing up at the end. That's when you know you've given it your all.