The Spark

This poem does not fit into me completely, it is more like a partially-fitting poem. But it sure is well-spoken, and I enjoyed reading it, so I thought I'd share.

The Spark
by Countee Cullen

Stamp hard, be sure
We leave no spark
That may allure
This placid dark.
At last we learn
That love is cruel;
Fire will not burn
Lacking fuel.

Here, take your heart,
The whole of it;
I want no part,
No smallest bit.
And this is mine?
You took scant care;
My heart could shine;
No glaze was there.

Young lips hold wine
The fair world over;
New heads near mine
Will dent the clover;
We need not pine
Now this is over.

Now love is dead
We might be friends;
'Tis best instead
To say all ends,
And when we meet
Pass quickly by;
Oh, speed your feet,
And so will I.

I know a man
Thought a spark was dead
That flamed and ran
A brighter red,
And burned the roof
Above his head.

A Break

You know, when you start a journal, you think you’re doing it for yourself. You make it public so that you can get some feedback, so that you can share your thoughts with the greater world. But soon the journal, or blog, becomes something you write for others. It becomes a form of competition – how many people can I get to visit my site? How many people think that my ideas are worth their time? One fellow blogger calls his site meter a “vanity counter” and that’s exactly what it is. I’ve been perfectly content not updating, replacing a keyboard and screen for the old fashioned pen and paper of my troubled teens. But then there is the pressure. From people you know and from people you don’t, to continue to update, to ensure returns, to write something, anything, as long as it represents you at the time.
So this is what represents me right now: a pen and a loosely bound journal, which I write in nearly everyday in handwriting that has become so bad I can hardly read it myself. It makes my hand cramped, strains my eyes, and takes a crap load more time. And yet, it’s better, I find, than blogging. Because whereas there are marked advantages to online journals, the loss of privacy is a big set-back. I want people to know some things about me, but there are by far many more things that I want to keep private. Maybe that’s what Africa does to me. I guess I took my online journal as a replacement for my physical one. And I can seem to only do one at a time because I am too easily bored by repetition. Right now, my little book is more satisfying. And so I’m going to stick with that for awhile and apologize (how inane is this?!) for temporarily stopping the flow of my globally accessible thoughts and experiences. I’ll still update – just more sporadically. Til then, take care. 

Seven Years in Tibet

This is a view of the Bale Mountains taken last Christmas.

I'm reading a book called Seven Years in Tibet. It's about Heinrich Harrer, an Austrian Olympic gold medal winner who, because of his nationality in British-occupied India, gets placed in a prison camp in India when World War II breaks out. He was voyaging to India en route to climb the highest peak in the Himalayas. But, held up in the camp, his plans are thwarted. So he makes some bold attempts at escape, and finally succeeds. He gains his freedom by going through Tibet. He then spends seven years there, where he becomes close friends with the Dalai Lama. It's a really cool story.

Especially because it's completely true.

If you think the story is cool but you're a lazy bum, I think they made it into a motion picture with Brad Pitt. If you see it, tell me if Brad looks as hot as I think he does.

Wrapping Presents, Unwrapping Thoughts

I was wrapping Christmas presents today when it hit me that my little brother won’t be here this year. We re-use wrapping paper, partially because you can’t really find wrapping paper here and so we have to bring it back from Europe and partially because my mom doesn’t believe in wasting anything. Anyway, we also re-use the little tags that describe whose present is whose and who gave it. And as I was going through them, looking for mine (“For papa’ from Jessica, with love”, “For Jessica from Santa Claus, Merry Christmas”), I realized that there were a disproportionate amount of tags with my little brother Bennie’s name on them. I kept going through them and thought, “Gosh, that kid gets a lot of presents.” And then it hit me that he’s not coming home. And that made me sad. I know he’s going to have a blast in Vancouver, or wherever he is, but still. Christmas isn’t really Christmas without your family.

Christmas Cookies!

So every year when I'm home for Christmas, my mother and I make Christmas cookies. This year was no different. I took a picture, but it didn't turn out too fantastic, so let me describe the cookies we made. We made:

• Vanilla crescents-- a powdered sugar and a chocolate variety
• layered raspberry cookies -- with two different shapes, a heart and a star
• decorated cut-out sugar cookies - with santas, christmas trees, apples, ducks, moons, stars, hearts, shooting stars, and mini hearts. We decorated them in different rainbow colored icing sugar with regular sprinkles, heart-shaped sprinkles, and chocolate sprinkles. And there is a completely chocolate-covered variety as well!
• coconut puffs (they melt in your mouth!)
• and some apricot nibblers are still in the works!

Tomorrow I'm going to the pool to get my first sunburn. I should be good after that. I'm trying to plan a trip - probably hiking in the Bale Mountains - for after Christmas. The idea is to go to the furthermost campsite (which is far and you can get there only partially by donkey and horse) and then hike from there -- it'll be cold, which is the only downside, and my brother will be rationing food. Last time I was there, my friends and I had a Bombay Sapphire gin drinking competition as soon as we got up (but we never went as far as the last campsite!). After a good five hour's hike and in over 9,000 feet altitude. Needless to say, we all pretty much spent the night puking. I'll refrain from that this time. But I am excited, excited, excited!!! :)

Rocky and Lolita

This is Rocky posing up a storm...

and this stretching lady here to the left is the sweet Lolita.

Today I...

• was woken up at 9:00 am by my mother
• stumbled around for an hour, eating croissants for breakfast and drinking tea mom made, and trying to evade my big brother Ale as he tried taking pictures of me (it ain't happening at 9 am.)
• checked my email and was pleasantly surprised by all the love that came my way (keep it coming!)
• went to the German embassy and renewed my passport
• got stamps from the post office, fresh bread from the bakery and ripe red strawberries from the grocery store
• wrote letters and affixed newly bought stamps to them
• ate injera with doro wot for lunch (yummy!!)
• watched TV with Dawn and played with the dogs
• painted a picture with watercolors of an Ethiopian landscape while listening to John Mayer on my Ipod
• had dinner with the family and watched "The Weakest Link" with them
• watched several documentaries on National Geographic TV
• rechecked my email :)

Ah, being on vacation. :) Now, I'm going to my room to read a book and then getting up at 9 again to bake Christmas cookies (it takes all day!). Looking forward to tomorrow. Icing, sugar, and chocolate, here I come!!