Days Like These

I'm sitting on my bed, ochre bed sheets and an Ethiopian cotton blanket warming my toes. Looking out the window you can tell it's cold outside. The air is crisp, the sky is clear, everything looks sharp. Inside, it's completely different. Everything looks hazy, dim, and undefined. Two little lit lamps attempt to make a difference, but they can't compete against the atmosphere. It's days like this when you realize that the world is bigger than you. That its mood envelops you and that you are defined by your surroundings. I like to feel small. Sometimes it's comforing. I like to feel in perspective compared to the world.
Sometimes it's depressing, because I want to feel like my life matters. But when I get humbled by nature like this, it proves that I can only accomplish little compared to the world.
What is it about humans and feeling like they need to change the world? And this sense of urgency...

Motivation

Okay my friends... so tomorrow I hand in all my final papers. Tomorrow, I am officially academically done for 2006. But damn, tomorrow seems like a long long time away. I've still got two papers to finish writing and my brain is screaming "mercy!" Yes, yes. I know. It'll be fine in the end and I will get it done. It always is. But uuugh.
One of my RAs came to me and was complaining about a bad situation. Then she said she shouldn't feel bad about feeling bad. "That's catholic guilt for you." There's always someone out there doing worse than you. But speaking in relative deprivation terms, it still sucks.
Now that I am fully motivated... back to work.

My Second Race

Today, I ran my second 5 K race and finished in under 28:00. I'm proud of myself, because that's a whole minute faster than my last timed run. At the end, I had less to give, which means I ran it well. I guess I didn't achieve my goal of 27:00 minutes, but I also didn't feel like throwing up. :) Now I'm energized, happy, and ready to write my final exams.