A Break

You know, when you start a journal, you think you’re doing it for yourself. You make it public so that you can get some feedback, so that you can share your thoughts with the greater world. But soon the journal, or blog, becomes something you write for others. It becomes a form of competition – how many people can I get to visit my site? How many people think that my ideas are worth their time? One fellow blogger calls his site meter a “vanity counter” and that’s exactly what it is. I’ve been perfectly content not updating, replacing a keyboard and screen for the old fashioned pen and paper of my troubled teens. But then there is the pressure. From people you know and from people you don’t, to continue to update, to ensure returns, to write something, anything, as long as it represents you at the time.
So this is what represents me right now: a pen and a loosely bound journal, which I write in nearly everyday in handwriting that has become so bad I can hardly read it myself. It makes my hand cramped, strains my eyes, and takes a crap load more time. And yet, it’s better, I find, than blogging. Because whereas there are marked advantages to online journals, the loss of privacy is a big set-back. I want people to know some things about me, but there are by far many more things that I want to keep private. Maybe that’s what Africa does to me. I guess I took my online journal as a replacement for my physical one. And I can seem to only do one at a time because I am too easily bored by repetition. Right now, my little book is more satisfying. And so I’m going to stick with that for awhile and apologize (how inane is this?!) for temporarily stopping the flow of my globally accessible thoughts and experiences. I’ll still update – just more sporadically. Til then, take care. 

Seven Years in Tibet

This is a view of the Bale Mountains taken last Christmas.

I'm reading a book called Seven Years in Tibet. It's about Heinrich Harrer, an Austrian Olympic gold medal winner who, because of his nationality in British-occupied India, gets placed in a prison camp in India when World War II breaks out. He was voyaging to India en route to climb the highest peak in the Himalayas. But, held up in the camp, his plans are thwarted. So he makes some bold attempts at escape, and finally succeeds. He gains his freedom by going through Tibet. He then spends seven years there, where he becomes close friends with the Dalai Lama. It's a really cool story.

Especially because it's completely true.

If you think the story is cool but you're a lazy bum, I think they made it into a motion picture with Brad Pitt. If you see it, tell me if Brad looks as hot as I think he does.

Wrapping Presents, Unwrapping Thoughts

I was wrapping Christmas presents today when it hit me that my little brother won’t be here this year. We re-use wrapping paper, partially because you can’t really find wrapping paper here and so we have to bring it back from Europe and partially because my mom doesn’t believe in wasting anything. Anyway, we also re-use the little tags that describe whose present is whose and who gave it. And as I was going through them, looking for mine (“For papa’ from Jessica, with love”, “For Jessica from Santa Claus, Merry Christmas”), I realized that there were a disproportionate amount of tags with my little brother Bennie’s name on them. I kept going through them and thought, “Gosh, that kid gets a lot of presents.” And then it hit me that he’s not coming home. And that made me sad. I know he’s going to have a blast in Vancouver, or wherever he is, but still. Christmas isn’t really Christmas without your family.

Christmas Cookies!

So every year when I'm home for Christmas, my mother and I make Christmas cookies. This year was no different. I took a picture, but it didn't turn out too fantastic, so let me describe the cookies we made. We made:

• Vanilla crescents-- a powdered sugar and a chocolate variety
• layered raspberry cookies -- with two different shapes, a heart and a star
• decorated cut-out sugar cookies - with santas, christmas trees, apples, ducks, moons, stars, hearts, shooting stars, and mini hearts. We decorated them in different rainbow colored icing sugar with regular sprinkles, heart-shaped sprinkles, and chocolate sprinkles. And there is a completely chocolate-covered variety as well!
• coconut puffs (they melt in your mouth!)
• and some apricot nibblers are still in the works!

Tomorrow I'm going to the pool to get my first sunburn. I should be good after that. I'm trying to plan a trip - probably hiking in the Bale Mountains - for after Christmas. The idea is to go to the furthermost campsite (which is far and you can get there only partially by donkey and horse) and then hike from there -- it'll be cold, which is the only downside, and my brother will be rationing food. Last time I was there, my friends and I had a Bombay Sapphire gin drinking competition as soon as we got up (but we never went as far as the last campsite!). After a good five hour's hike and in over 9,000 feet altitude. Needless to say, we all pretty much spent the night puking. I'll refrain from that this time. But I am excited, excited, excited!!! :)

Rocky and Lolita

This is Rocky posing up a storm...

and this stretching lady here to the left is the sweet Lolita.

Today I...

• was woken up at 9:00 am by my mother
• stumbled around for an hour, eating croissants for breakfast and drinking tea mom made, and trying to evade my big brother Ale as he tried taking pictures of me (it ain't happening at 9 am.)
• checked my email and was pleasantly surprised by all the love that came my way (keep it coming!)
• went to the German embassy and renewed my passport
• got stamps from the post office, fresh bread from the bakery and ripe red strawberries from the grocery store
• wrote letters and affixed newly bought stamps to them
• ate injera with doro wot for lunch (yummy!!)
• watched TV with Dawn and played with the dogs
• painted a picture with watercolors of an Ethiopian landscape while listening to John Mayer on my Ipod
• had dinner with the family and watched "The Weakest Link" with them
• watched several documentaries on National Geographic TV
• rechecked my email :)

Ah, being on vacation. :) Now, I'm going to my room to read a book and then getting up at 9 again to bake Christmas cookies (it takes all day!). Looking forward to tomorrow. Icing, sugar, and chocolate, here I come!!

Quick Note

Quick note: my adelphi email doesn't work. If you're going to email, use my other address, please. And I would LOVE to hear from you. :)

In Addis

I'm finally home. The journey took a long time. But I'm here, safe and sound. I got in at 4 am this morning. It was an uneventful set of flights, which is just as I like them. London was cool, but I was only there for four hours. I did a lot of duty free shopping, which was great. Our plane stopped in Alexandria, Egypt, and then we got into Addis. It's weird being home. It's good but weird. Some things are the same while others are competely different. It's also strange how fast you can get back into a rhythm, into the swing of things of your previous life.
The weather is gorgeous -- 75 degrees and sunny and dry. My family is all doing well. While I was away, we added two new members! Lolita and Rocky, two beautiful huge German shepards. They are absolutely adorable and by far the most well-behaved dogs we've ever had.
I'll post pictures soon.

New York City

Leg one of my journey is complete. I made it safely into my friend Chris's Brooklyn apartment at midnight. The flights were fine except that my luggage was "delayed" -- ie. the airline didn't put it on the plane. So they're supposed to drop it off in a few hours. I'm happy to have my luggage back but I'm pissed because I can't go carousing around New York as I had planned and am stuck in a Brooklyn apartment. Rats. Oh well. At least I'll be able to fly home with my luggage. Whether it gets to Ethiopia is a different story.
In other news - it's freezing cold in New York and this serves as a reminder as to why I left. But the lights of the city as I was flying in were so beautiful that it made me nostalgic. In Detroit I got hit on with the funniest pickup line. I was inquiring to some random guy about the status of our flight, which was delayed, when he said to me, "So, are you a swimsuit model or something?" I laughed and said, "So, are you on crack?" And then he made references to my "mmmmmm, delicious booty" and asked me provocatively where the bathroom was. Like I was supposed to go with him. It was humorous, to say the least. But also more than slightly sketchy. Anywho.
I've got lots of plans for the afternoon... if my luggage ever gets here... including ice skating and going to get bubble tea from Taipan bakery on Canal st. I also want to go to Rockerfeller Center and eat Chinese food in China Town. We'll see how much I can get accomplished.
I'm glad I came to see Chris. It's nice to get to hang out with him.

Sights and Folks of Charleston

Dani (left), Siobhan (right) and I at our favorite bar, A.C.'s!

Some lucky guy (Carter, that is) getting smooched by me.

Anna and John being all embarassed. So cute!

Carter and some girl I don't know.
This is St. Mark's Episcopal church (I think) on King St. The picture was taken from Marion Square.

This is Second Presbyterian Church. This church is on Charlotte St., and I walk past it every day to go to work.

Just a quickie...

Just a quick post... things are going really well... I'm leaving for Ethiopia on Monday, so I'm trying to get my last minute packing, shopping, and upcoming season preparing done. I can't wait to go home, but I don't want to go through the hassle of traveling a long time to get there. Yesterday I had dinner at Carter's house... the first semi-formal setting I have been in with his parents... and it was nice. I felt comfortable and at ease, and we sat at the table a long time after dinner just to continue our conversation. I must say that it makes a dating situation much easier when you have parental approval. It was a memorable day in one other fantastic way as well. I also went to Columbia during the day, where I participated in a day-long conference on how to treat, preserve, and manage audio-visual materials. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, even though I know that stating that makes me a complete nerd. Christmas lights are up at our house, and the little tree that my roommate Tracy brought back from VA creates a festive atmosphere every night.
Today is my last day at work for the year. This is my last weekend in the United States for 2005. When I come back, I will already have missed two classes. But I will have a nice suntan and a month's worth of relaxation.

Old Dog, No New Tricks: A Story of Resistance to Change

Once again I am astounded by the profoundness that is to be found in common sayings. I was thinking about the saying, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," and it hit me: it is so true. Now, I don't consider myself old by any means, nor to be of the canine persuasion, but I have noticed a pattern of resistance to change within myself as time has passed. Perhaps I spent so much of my youth trying to be comfortable in my own skin that the thought of shedding it is just too much to handle. Either way, I have noticed that as I have grown older, I have developed a certain persona that has become harder and harder to alter.
Those of you who know me well, or even those of you who know me very little, know that I am usually a very loud, talkative, and opinionated person. Now, what if I decided that I didn't want to be loud and opinionated anymore? What if I wanted to become quieter and more introspective, and not quite as ready to jump down someone's throat for not ascribing to my same beliefs? The answer seems easy: "Just do it." As if it were an addiction to nicotine that could be curbed by will-power. But it's much harder than quitting smoking because the people around you are as resistent to change as you are. They are so afraid of changing themselves, in fact, that they don't want you to change.
Yesterday, for example, I decided that I was going to be quiet. Not upset or mad or morose -- just quiet. I wanted to listen, observe, and stand back from center stage for awhile. What reaction did I get? I don't think I can count the numbers of times that people asked me if I was okay. "What's wrong?" "Why are you upset?" "You know you can talk to me." There was nothing wrong! No matter how many times I reiterated that fact, the questions kept coming. Finally, the constant badgering blew my fuse and I got pissed off -- and reverted to my usual self.
I was trying hard not to act like I usually did, because people complain to me that I am "offensive" and "too opinionated" and that I should not feel the need to express my opinion all the time -- but when I did that people didn't believe that I could act that way! And they wanted me to go back to being how I usually am, even though they complain about it. Bizarre.
So it's not only that you can't teach old dogs new tricks -- it's that you can't teach the old dog's old friends to be happy for her if she does learn new tricks.

Watch Out - Women at the Citadel!

I read an article in the local newspaper some time ago that just plain pissed me off. A Citadel alumnus has started a club called the Citadel Men Foundation, which is campaigning to reverse what he says is "the erosion of the Charleston military college's core values and traditions. "
In part what he disagrees with is the admission of women into the Citadel. This man stated: "Don't get me wrong, I love women, I just don't think they belong at The Citadel."
Another alumnus and former assistant commandant of cadets said, "he sympathizes with graduates who wish the school had remained closed to women, but said they need to get over it as he has and help the college move forward." He is quoted as saying: "Let's make it work until somebody can find a way to make it go back."
Another graduate claimed that admitting women into the Citadel was "just part of a deeper problem with a creeping tide of political correctness."
NOW THEN. In two years, I will be claiming the Citadel as my alma mater. And the ideas expressed here are just frankly so backward, misogynistic and sexist that it baffles me that people today can believe they are true. As a woman-- as an intelligent and competent woman-- I want nothing more than to enroll in this institution of higher learning and show each and every single one of those ignorant men that they are simply wrong and that it is ideas like theirs which inhibit societal progress. I hope in two years to have proven my point.
I wrote the author about publishing an article in regards to how women feel about being women in the Citadel, but he hasn't responded yet. For the complete article, click here.